


Perfectly Good Heart

by ElsaIsThereLifeOnMars



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Jac/Zosia, Jasia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-17 11:36:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5867770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElsaIsThereLifeOnMars/pseuds/ElsaIsThereLifeOnMars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jac and Zosia are faced with professional and personal adversity as they're trying to settle into their newfound relationship. They each have to decide if what started out as a brief fling can turn into something real and is worth fighting for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Committed

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a challenge on tumblr referring to an edit I did. It suggested that as a couple, Jac and Zosia would have dinner with Guy. Turns out that was the prompt I needed to commit to a longer Jasia story. I'm hoping this will end up being a relatively realistic portrayal of what it could be like if they actually dated (rating may go up later on). I'd really appreciate some feedback on this so I can keep improving the story as we go along. I'm also considering flashbacks to show how they got together in the first place cause this is set one month into their relationship. Let me know your thoughts on that! :)  
> Enjoy!

“Your father needs a final answer about dinner.“ Jac Naylor sighed looking up from her phone.  
“Do we really have to?“ Zosia March asked and Jac shrugged.  
“Well, he is your father.“ She commented as she put her phone away.  
“Yes. Exactly.“ The junior doctor retorted sounding uneasy. The clutched a stack of patient notes to her chest and looked at her girlfriend who was sat at the desk in front of her.  
“Look, Zosia, whatever you want to do is fine.“ The consultant replied with considerable understanding in her voice which was very much out off character for her. They had been dating for almost a month now and Zosia had started to see a different side to the supposedly cold-hearted bitch she had fallen for. What had started out as a bit of fun had turned more serious and so family commitments such as dinner with her father couldn’t be avoided for much longer. The stakes grew consistently the more Zosia allowed herself to get invested in their relationship. Jac waited for a response that didn’t come but doubt and worry were painted all over the junior’s face. “Let’s go to my office and get a coffee.“ She suggested and Zosia shook her head.  
“We can’t disappear into your office all the time, Jac. We’re at work, it’s unprofessional.“  
“Yes and right now one of my juniors is clearly distressed over a personal matter.“ Jac responded having returned fully to her consultant persona. “Also, I’d rather not discuss personal things in front of other people.“ She added clearly referring to Oliver Valentine and Henrik Hanssen who were stood by the desk as well.  
“Very well then.“ Zosia managed a small smile and followed her girlfriend to her office.  
“What’s wrong Zosia, it’s just dinner.“ Jac said as the door had closed behind them.  
“It’s just going to be really awkward, just because of the whole situation.“ The junior explained reluctantly.  
“Well, he’s been civil so far, hasn’t he?“  
“I guess so…“ Zosia took a deep breath. “I just get anxious sometimes.“  
“That’s perfectly fine.“ Jac replied and took her face in her hands gently. “And I promise it’ll be okay. There is really nothing for you to worry about, I will be with you that whole time.“ She kissed her softly and Zosia melted into the kiss.  
“I know I’m just overthinking it. I just have this horrible image in my head of you two having a shouting match in the middle of a restaurant…“ She confessed to Jac’s apparent amusement.  
“I promise I will be nice. As much as it pains me that he of all people is your father, he IS your father so I will make an effort, for you.“ Zosia couldn’t help but smile. Coming from Jac Naylor, that was possibly one of the sweetest things she’d ever heard. “Come on now, it’s not like I’m meeting your father for the first time. There will be no awkward silences. I promise I will be able to hold a civil conversation with him. After all, I do know him quite well.“  
“Maybe that’s the problem…“ The junior said without thinking.  
“Oh, well, that’s a low blow.“ Jac retorted realising what she had to be referring to.  
“I’m sorry, it wasn’t meant to be.“ She apologised quickly and sincerely.  
“You know I wish I could take it back but I can’t.“ The consultant replied thinking back with regret to her short lived affair with Guy.  
“I know.“ Zosia nodded and she took her girlfriend’s hand to show that she meant it.  
“Obviously I couldn’t have known this was going to happen.“ Jac gave a weak smile squeezing her hand.  
“Yeah well, I doubt anyone could have. I’m still trying to figure out what this is.“ Zosia chuckled.  
“You are?“ Zosia’s heart sank at the look on Jac’s face when she realised what she had said. The consultant let go of her hand. “I was under the impression we’re in a committed relationship or did I get that wrong?“ The vulnerability that had been there a moment ago was quickly replaced by anger. It was her way of putting up walls and Zosia felt like she had been punched in the gut.  
“No, of course we are. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply…“  
“Imply what?“  
“That I’m not committed to us because I am, Jac. I really am.“ There was a brief moment of silence as Zosia looked at her pleadingly and Jac just seemed to stare through her.  
“What shall I tell your father?“ The consultant asked at last.  
“We’ll go, of course.“ Zosia replied quickly hoping to make up for her poor choice of words. “Please will you come and have dinner with me and my dad?“ She added trying to be firm and show how much she wanted her with her.  
“Right. Well, I’ve got an early finish today so I’ll pick you up at seven then? If you can commit to that?“

\---

“You don’t look so good Zosia…“ Dominic Copeland observed when Zosia stepped out of her room.  
“Oh thanks.“ She replied sarcastically as she walked through their living room.  
“No, I don’t mean you don’t look great, because you do, stunning, but you look worried.“ Dom explained sipping his cup of tea. She did in fact look amazing. They were going to a very fancy restaurant and her father had made it clear black tie attire was not optional. It only added to the pressure. She was wearing a long dark blue dress, she knew Jac liked the colour on her.  
“Is it that obvious?“ She asked and he shrugged.  
“I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself.“  
“It’s a natural step to take, at some point you have to introduce your partner to your family.“  
“Well, no introduction needed, they’re were very closely acquainted for a time.“ Dom reminded her with a bit of a chuckle.  
“Can you just drop it. That’s in the past and it doesn’t matter. There is no way Jac would ever have any involvement with my dad ever again. It’ll be hard enough for them to sit across from each other for the duration of a meal.“ She retorted.  
“Exactly, so why are you insisting on this.“  
“Because I have to prove to Jac that I’m serious. This is a serious relationship thing.“ She explained.  
“You really are serious about her, aren’t you?“ He leaned forward looking slightly surprised as if he had only just come to that realisation.  
“Yes, I really am.“ She nodded in determination.  
“Well then, good luck to you.“ He raised his mug to her. “I mean when you started dating her I thought it was a bit…“  
“Strange?“ She tried to finish his sentence.  
“Suicidal. I mean the woman is a nightmare…“  
“She’s really not a nightmare, Dom, you don’t know her.“ Zosia retorted but not too convincingly. He wasn’t completely wrong. Jac was not the easiest person to get along with. Their fight earlier had been a good example, there was plenty of friction between them but she certainly preferred an open argument to bottling feelings up as she had done in the past. There was no lack of communication with Jac and so far they’d always been able to resolve their issues and come out stronger.  
“I know and I’m glad you always go to hers because the thought of sitting across from Jac Naylor at breakfast gives me the creeps.“ Dom said interrupting her stream of thought.  
“You know you will have to try and get to know her at some point, I’m in it for the long haul.“ She replied. “So how do I actually look?“  
“Could do with a necklace and earrings?“ He suggested sensing she was done talking about her relationship.  
“I knew I forgot something…“ She hurried back into her room just as the doorbell rang. “Can you get that?“ She shouted and Dom rolled his eyes but got to his feet to open the door.  
“Ms Naylor.“ He greeted Jac with a somewhat forced smile. The consultant made him feel as uneasy as ever, it didn’t actually happen all that often that he met her out of work but it was always an awkward experience. He couldn’t imagine ever getting used to his friend dating her.  
“Dr Copeland.“ She replied just as formally but surprisingly her smile was more genuinely.  
“Please come in.“ He said stepping aside. “You look lovely.“ He observed not sure what else to say. He was right of course, Jac wore a very well tailored red dress. She was also holding a bunch of flowers and Dominic couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. It was terrible being single with both of his roommates all loved up. Fortunately he didn’t have to try and make conversation because Zosia stepped back out off her room.  
“Jac.“ She greeted her with a smile and looked at her in surprise. She’d never given her flowers before.  
“I wanted to apologise for earlier.“ Jac announced clearing her throat somewhat embarrassed at the fact Dom was witnessing the exchange. Apologising wasn't something that came natural to her.  
“I thought you didn't do flowers.“ Zosia observed but took them off her nonetheless with a soft smile.  
“I do under certain circumstances. I’m sorry I overreacted earlier.“  
“It’s fine, it was all my fault but thank you.“ Zosia felt her heart beat a little fast as she kissed her softly. At least at that moment, all her worries had blown away.  
“Right, that’s it, I’ve seen enough of this lovey dovey nonsense, some of us are single and bitter. Please go.“ Dom sighed gesturing towards the door.  
“No-one asked you to watch Dr Copeland.“ Jac retorted.  
“It’s fine Dom, we’re already gone.“ Zosia stepped in. “Also, you know you should really start calling my friends by their first names.“ She added looking at her girlfriend.  
“I don’t think we’re there yet.“ The consultant replied with hardly any hesitation.  
“Me neither.“ Dom agreed and Zosia only sighed.  
“Alright then, fine. Can you put these in water for me Dom? We need to head off.“  
“If it’ll make you go.“ He took the flowers off her and wandered to the cupboard to fetch a vase.  
“You look beautiful by the way.“ Jac made Zosia blush when she complimented her in a low tone of voice and took her hand in hers.  
“So do you.“ The junior replied with a smile.  
“I think I’m gonna be sick.“ Dominic commented in the background and they left without another word.


	2. Concerned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jac and Zosia follow Guy's invitation to a nice restaurant unsure what to expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy chapter 2, time to see what Guy has to say about Jac and Zosia's relationship...

They ended up getting a taxi to the restaurant agreeing that they both might need a drink.  
“He’s here already.“ Zosia observed as they pulled up and she spotted her father by the entrance to the restaurant.  
“Yes and he’s not alone.“ Jac said as they got out off the car. Guy spotted them immediately and raised his hand to make sure they saw him. Next to him stood a young man who looked around with a smile.  
“What does he think he’s doing?“ Zosia asked quietly as they walked towards them.  
“Oh I know exactly what he’s doing.“ Jac replied and took a firm hold of Zosia’s hand. She had no intention of letting Guy’s little stunt get to her. 

“Dad.“ Zosia greeted her father with a smile and he kissed her cheek.  
“Hello Zosia.“ He mirrored her smile. “Jac.“ He said looking at the consultant who made no attempt to move towards him in any way.  
“Guy.“ She responded curtly forcing a smile when Zosia gave her a look.  
“Zosia, you remember Adam Woolley?“ Guy introduced him companion without paying any more attention to Jac.  
“Of course, we went to university together.“ She explained more for girlfriend’s benefit than anything else.  
“He’s thinking about specialising in neurosurgery and emailed me asking for some advice and I thought it’d be better discussed over dinner and it’ll give you a chance to catch up.“  
“What a fortunate coincidence.“ Jac observed but didn’t say anything else considering Zosia’s request to behave herself.  
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.“ Adam smiled. “And it’s great seeing you again Zosia.“  
“You too, Adam. I don’t suppose you know Jac…“  
“Jac Naylor, of course, I just recently read an article about the stent work you’re doing, it’s fascinating.“ He interrupted her with a smile directed at the consultant and Jac pursed her lips.  
“It certainly is.“  
“We’re seeing each other.“ Zosia thought it best to clarify and Jac noticed the strain on Guy’s face with great satisfaction.  
“I see…“ Adam replied, Guy clearly had omitted that fact.  
“Shall we go in.“ Jac suggested with a smile as she placed her hand on the small of Zosia’s back and leading her inside without waiting for a response from the two men.

“Wine?“ Zosia suggested as they made their way to the bar while their table was being prepared.  
“Oh yes.“ Jac nodded and ordered two glasses of white.  
“I’m glad you didn’t get caught up in theatre tonight.“ Guy observed. That had been their excuse several times for postponing dinner.  
“You know what my schedule is like, Guy, but obviously I made time for this, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.“ The CT consultant replied before taking a sip of her wine.

“So how are you doing, Zosia?“ Adam asked trying to make small talk and relieve some of the tension. “You father mentioned you were specialising in cardio-thoracics?“  
“Yes, it’s fascinating, actually.“ The junior doctor answered.  
“Zosia is very talented.“ Jac said and the young man grinned:  
“I’m sure a mentor of your caliber has something to do with it.“  
“Apart from the conflict of interest…“ Guy couldn’t help himself.  
“Dad!“ Zosia exclaimed.  
“Well that didn’t take long.“ Jac chuckled shaking her head. “Looks like our table is ready, shall we sit?“ She nodded towards the waiter that steered towards them.  
“I’m so sorry about this…“ Zosia whispered grabbing hold of Jac’s hand as they followed the waiter.  
“Don’t worry about it.“ Her girlfriend replied almost light-heartedly. They sat down and started studying the menu making small talk about the food. 

 “So, is it save for us to order food or will you continue insulting us and we have to walk out?“ Jac asked closing the menu. It was a valid point, the food was expensive and if things were to continue in the same fashion they needn’t bother.  
“I’m sorry, I was only making an observation, I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying.“ Guy responded putting his hands up.  
“Well, then maybe you should make more of an effort, Dad, this was your idea after all.“ Zosia reminded him looking up from her menu.  
“Of course, I’m sorry.“

“Why did you ask us for dinner anyway?“ Jac couldn’t help but ask. She was curious what he thought he could accomplish. This was never going to be an enjoyable affair.  
“I just thought it might be nice to have a chance to talk.“ Guy replied.  
“About what exactly?“ Zosia frowned, she knew this wouldn’t end well.  
“I had hoped we could enjoy dinner first?“  
“Oh no, Guy, please, by all means, I’m dying to hear what you have to say.“ Jac threw in encouragingly.  
“This might not have been the best idea…“ He tried to back paddle but the CT consultant wouldn’t allow it.  
“Humour us.“  
“I’m just concerned.“ He admitted at last.  
“About what?“ Zosia asked.  
“You of course. And my corrupting influence, isn’t that right?“ Jac chuckled crossing her arms in front of her chest. She had to remind herself of her promise to Zosia to stay calm but she had no intention of just taking what he had to say.  
“Can’t you see that you two are embarrassing yourselves? The whole hospital is talking about it!“ Guy finally said rather quietly. He didn’t want neighbouring tables to hear.  
“You wouldn’t know anything about embarrassing yourself, would you, Guy?“ Jac laughed sarcastically.  
“Jac, stop this nonsense before someone gets serious hurt.“ Guy shot back in frustration.  
“The only one who’s going to get serious hurt is you, Guy, if you don’t back off.“ Jac retorted remaining surprisingly calm.  
“This whole thing is a joke.“ The neurosurgeon insisted.  
“Say that again, I dare you.“ Jac replied and Zosia could tell that she was reaching the end of her tether and rightfully so.  
“Can I have a word Dad? Now?“ She cut in before he could respond.  
“Zosia, I’m sorry but I don’t think…“  
“Now, Dad, or so help me, we will walk out of here right now.“ She threatened and Jac raised her eyebrows in amusement. Sensing that he didn’t have a choice, Guy got to his feet and allowed himself to be lead away, back to the bar. Jac and Adam remained in awkward silence. 

“I’m so sorry about all this, I had no idea Zosia was…“ The young man said at last and Jac took a deep breath wondering why he couldn’t just have stayed quiet until they returned.  
“Spoken for?“ She interrupted him before he could finish the sentence.  
“Yes, well, if Guy had said…“ He tried to explain but Jac’s patience was at an end. Without her girlfriend around there was no need to play nice.  
“I think it’s time for you to leave, don’t you?“ He looked at her dumbfounded unprepared for the blunt statement.  
“Yes, I think I might…“ He realised that she was giving him an out that he really should take. Quickly he got to his feet. “Nice to have met you.“ Jac didn’t say anything so he hurried off without another word. She glanced over to see Zosia and Guy were still engaged in conversation, she couldn’t see her girlfriend’s face because she stood with her back turned to her. The consultant picked up her wineglass and took a sip, she twirled the glass between her fingers as she forced herself to wait patiently.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?“ Zosia demanded to know once they were out of earshot.  
“I’m sorry, Zosia, I didn’t mean for things to turn out like this…“ She couldn’t tell if he was being truthful or not.  
“Did you really just invite us for this spectacle?“  
“Honestly, I am just worried about you, about all this, I thought we could have a civilised conversation about it.“ He gestured back to the table and Zosia shook her head in disbelief.  
“That’s what you call civilised? And I was worried about what Jac might say, clearly I owe her an apology and so do you!“ She took a deep breath trying to compose herself but she couldn't quite manage it. “And what even makes you think your opinion about our relationship matters?“  
“I’m still your father and I know Jac…“ He tried to justify himself but she interrupted him.  
“Yes I know you KNOW Jac, Dad, that’s something we all have to live with and I’ve decided it doesn’t matter. Has it occurred to you that she might make me happy? As crazy as that sounds?“  
“To be perfectly honest, Zosia, I don’t care if she makes you happy or not!“ He exclaimed losing his temper at last. “Surely you can see what this looks like? Do you want people to think you’re sleeping your way up? And though I don’t much care for Jac, it hurts her reputation as well, she can’t be seen to have a relationship with a junior on her ward!“  
“You know it’s not like that.“ She shot back. “Is this because she’s a woman?“  
“Don’t be ridiculous, that has nothing to do with it! Think about this rationally: She’s much older than you, she’s your boss, she has a child! You’re still at the very beginning of your career. Admittedly I’m surprised at your sudden interest in women but that is the least of my concerns!“  
“Well, you could have fooled me. Inviting Adam Woolley? What were you thinking? I don’t even like the guy.“  
“And you like Jac Naylor of all people? The eternal ice queen of Holby City with more baggage than…“  
“I think you really need to shut up now, Dad.“ She interrupted him decisively. “We didn’t come here seeking your approval, it was a gesture of goodwill. Don’t make me chose between you and Jac.“  
“Is that because you’ve already decided?“ He asked in anger.  
“I think I’ve had enough of this for one night.“ Zosia decided and without another word walked past her father back towards the table. She immediately noticed that Adam had vanished but she just couldn’t bring herself to care. She was angry and upset.

“You’re not seriously leaving.“ Guy caught up with her at the table.  
“We can try this again another time.“ Zosia said and Jac stood up taking the hint but decided it was best to stay quiet and see what her girlfriend decided to do.  
“Please, Zosia, I’m sorry.“ He pleaded.  
“No, you’ve said what you had to say and I’m really not very hungry.“ Zosia picked up her handbag.  
“Please sit down.“ Guy sounded genuinely sorry but it didn’t seem to sway his daughter.  
“We’ll reschedule.“ Jac said sensing that Zosia was struggling for words and composure. “I’m sorry all of this is hard for you, Guy, but I think you’ve done enough damage for one night, don’t you?“ She took her girlfriend’s hand and lead her away without another word. She could see the distress on Zosia’s face. She couldn’t help but wonder if Guy had even considered his daughter’s fragile state of mind. Jac tightened her grip around Zosia’s hand, she was determined to protect her, even if it was from her own demons. Guy was not going to make that easy.


	3. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jac and Zosia get home after they walked out on Guy, Jac is confronted with Zosia's fragile state of mind for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for your feedback, I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Let me know what you think to Jac and Zosia's first heart to heart.

Jac held on to Zosia’s hand all the way home but she hardly seemed to notice. She leaned against the wall of the cab looking outside absentmindedly, neither of them said anything until they reached the consultant’s flat. Zosia got out of the taxi while Jac paid the driver and they made their way inside together. 

“Are you okay?“ Jac asked at last as they stepped inside the apartment.  
“Fine…“ Zosia replied sounding very much detached from the world, it made her girlfriend’s heart sink. 

“I don’t want to drive a wedge between you and your father…“ The consultant started but her girlfriend just shrugged.  
“It’s his loss, I couldn’t care less.“  
“You don’t mean that.“ Jac retorted.  
“Honestly, I don’t want to talk about it.“ The younger woman cut in.  
“But we should. We should talk about… consequences… Your father isn’t completely wrong, there are things we will have to deal with.“ Jac crossed her arms in front of her chest, she didn’t want to entertain the possibility that Guy had a point but she couldn’t afford not to. 

“Jac, I don’t want to hear it.“ Zosia interrupted her decisively.  
“Problems don’t go away because you ignore them.“ The consultant retorted but her girlfriend refused to listen.  
“These are problems other people have. Small-minded, petty people, they have nothing to do with us.“ The junior replied angrily.  
“That doesn’t mean that it won’t effect us or that it doesn’t matter.“ Jac tried to reason with her but to no avail.

“Have you changed your mind about us?“ Zosia challenged her.  
“Of course not.“  
“Well then, why are we still talking?“ She buried her hands in her girlfriend’s hair and silenced her with a passionate kiss. She ran her hands down her sides and back up her back until she found the zip to her dress and pulled it down.

“Zosia, Zosia, stop!“ It took all of Jac’s self-control to pull away.  
“What’s wrong?“ Zosia asked in a sultry tone kissing her girlfriend’s neck, just under her ear. Jac’s eyes fluttered shut involuntarily and she struggled for composure.  
“We need to… talk about this first, please.“ She explained breathlessly.  
“I don’t want to talk.“ The junior replied with a smirk. She took a step away from her and unzipped her dress in one smooth motion. Jac swallowed hard when it just fell to the floor pooling around her girlfriend’s feet. “Come on, Jac, you’re not usually that reluctant.“

“You can’t just pretend everything is fine.“ The consultant said and looked at the floor trying her hardest to resist the temptation.  
“We can talk tomorrow.“ Zosia smirked taking a step towards her, she placed her hand underneath her chin to force her to look at her. Jac clenched her teeth. In the past she would never gone through this trouble or put up a fight. There was an easy and very tempting way out but this was Zosia and she knew she had to do the right thing. She grabbed hold of her wrist and lowered her hand.

“Mental health might not be one of my strong points but I know how this works. You deflect, you ignore your problems, you distract yourself, try and mask the feelings with something else but that won’t make them go away. They will catch up with you at some point and things will be so much worse for it.“ This time, she wouldn’t be interrupted and Zosia averted her eyes.

“Sounds like you’ve got me all figured out.“ She replied bitterly looking back at her.  
“Well, I knew what I was getting myself into.“ Jac retorted maybe a little too quickly and too forcefully.  
“Oh right. Have you been reading up on how to deal with crazy people?“ Zosia laughed joylessly.  
“Zosia, don’t be ridiculous. I care about you and I have always been prepared for this to happen.“

“Were you just waiting for the mental breakdown?“ The junior crossed her arms in front of her chest.  
“You’re not having a breakdown, Zosia, you’re just upset and if it was me I would be. So we need to talk about it, work out what it is you’re feeling and how we will handle it. You’re not alone in this.“ Zosia looked at her in silence thinking about what she was saying. “Don’t put your walls up now. I know I can’t talk about being guarded but you can’t shut me out.“ Jac explained choosing her words carefully. “And as much as I want you right now…“ She looked her up and down shaking her head in disbelief at just how beautiful the young woman was. “I won’t allow you to drown your feelings out with other - admittedly enjoyable - activities.“ She gave her a wink and Zosia couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“You rate yourself quite highly then, do you?“  
“Well, you’ve not complained so far, have you?“ Jac replied with a cheeky smile. The atmosphere had changed and she felt a sense of relief. They were getting somewhere.  
“Oh no, certainly not…“ Zosia chuckled.  
“Good.“ The consultant fastened up her dress before she made her way to the cabinet retrieving glasses and a bottle of wine. “Oh no, by all means, don’t get dressed!“ She winked when Zosia picked up her dress. The junior grinned as she kicked off her heels but followed her request. Instead of putting her dress back on, she grabbed one of her girlfriend’s jumpers that was hanging on a chair. She dropped onto the sofa watching Jac thoughtfully as she joined her. 

“Thanks…“ She said taking the glass of wine.  
“If it’s any conciliation, I don’t think your father will behave like he did tonight ever again…“ Jac said sitting down next to her.  
“It’s not really, is it?“ Zosia replied bitterly. “I can’t believe he did that…“

“He’s just trying to protect you.“ The consultant mused.  
“No, he’s being selfish and stubborn. You don’t really think he’s worried about my feeling, do you? You should have heard what he said to me! He’s worried about his own reputation. He thinks I’m embarrassing him.“ She managed to stay surprisingly calm.  
“Well, he manages that all by himself.“ Jac chuckled taking a sip of her wine. “Nevertheless I think you should forgive his little… outburst… and give him another chance.“  
“Why would you say that?“ Zosia looked at her in utter confusion. “After the things he’s said about you, about us…“

“Anger and bitterness don’t suit you, Zosia, and I don’t want to be responsible for you two falling out. It’ll put emotional strain on you and you may well end up resenting me for it. I’d prefer that didn’t happen.“ Admittedly, that wasn't the sort of reaction one would expect from Jac Naylor but her reasoning seemed sound.  
“Careful, people will start to think you’re becoming soft.“ The junior laughed at how strange a statement like that sounded coming from her.

“Well, it is for my own selfish reasons still.“ Jac chuckled. “Please promise me you will try and work things out with him and make peace?“  
“Are you sure about that?“  
“Please? If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for me?“  
“Okay, if that’s what you want…“ Zosia agreed reluctantly.  
“It is.“ Jac confirmed with a nod. “Also, I can’t fault him when he’s right…“

“Jac, he’s being ridiculous, why would you say that…“ Zosia frowned, she couldn’t believe how resigned her girlfriend sounded.  
“He’s made some good points that we need to consider if we’re serious about this relationship is all.“ The consultant explained thoughtfully.  
“IF we’re serious?“  
“Don’t say that, Zosia, you know how serious I am about us, remember, I bit your head off about it this morning.“ Jac reassured her with a smile.  
“Oh I remember.“ The junior laughed. “I think I just proved to you how serious I am?“  
“That you did and I’m… grateful. If that’s the right word? You’re risking a lot for this…“ The consultant said and Zosia shook her head.

“That’s nonsense. You can’t honestly believe that.“  
“I can’t afford not to. There are so many reason why you shouldn’t…“  
“Like what?“ She interrupted her because she didn’t want to hear the end to that particular sentence.

“Do I really have to say it?“ Jac sounded rather put down.  
“Please. So I can tell you how I feel about those things?“ Zosia took her hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

“The age difference? Does that bother you?“  
“Only to the extent where you refuse to call my friends by their first names.“ Jac had to laugh at that response.

“Okay, fair enough. What about the fact that I’m your boss and am responsible for your training?“  
“You would never let personal feelings get in the way of my training, you know that. Now you’re just being silly.“ Zosia smiled. 

“What about the fact that it might harm your reputation? It might harm your chances of getting another job if…“  
“I want a career at Holby, I have no intention of leaving. All we have to do is prove we can remain professional.“

“What about Emma?“ That was the question Jac was dreading.  
“You know I love her.“ Zosia retorted, she couldn’t believe she even had to question that, even for a moment.  
“I know that but are you ready for that kind of commitment? At your age…“

“Jac, enough.“ Zosia placed her hand on her girlfriend’s cheek to force her to look at her. She could tell the consultant was getting upset. “I would have already run a mile if I had an issue with any of it. I’m ready for this and we’ll just keep figuring things out as we go along, like we have been doing.“ Jac could tell she was being sincere and she took a deep breath composing herself. She had meant to address her girlfriend’s emotional struggle, not her own.

“How are you feeling now?“ She asked at last.  
“I’m… fine, actually.“ Zosia almost sounded surprised when she answered. The anxiety she had been experiencing had lost its grip on her, in reassuring her girlfriend, she had reassured herself as well. 

“In that case leave me to worry about everything else from now on.“ Jac smiled, she wasn’t sure if Zosia realised just how much she had just helped her but she decided to keep it to herself, at least for the moment. She couldn’t help but feel a sense of belonging and a certain hopefulness for the future. “Do you trust me?“  
“Yes.“ Zosia answered without hesitation and doubt.  
“Then trust me that I won’t let anything jeopardise what I think we can have…“  
“Yeah and what’s that?“ Zosia asked with a soft smile. Jac didn’t actually dare answer but she reached to place her hand on her girlfriend’s cheek before kissing her softly.

“So we’re okay?“ She questioned.  
“Without a doubt.“ Zosia replied sincerely.  
“Good.“ Jac smirked and pushed her girlfriend back on the sofa with a passionate kiss. Zosia grinned into the kiss and pulled her on top of her, she had never felt more secure.


	4. Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, didn't have a lot of time to write this week! Hope you enjoy :)

When Zosia woke up the next morning, Jac was weighing her down with her head on her chest and her ginger hair sprawled absolutely everywhere. She glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. For whatever reason Zosia's body had a habit of waking up just before their alarm went off and this was the case again today. Absentmindedly she brushed Jac's soft hair back revealing face. Zosia's smiled. She still couldn't get over how innocent the fierce consultant looked when she slept. The alarm went off and Jac immediately stirred, Zosia sighed unhappily, she really didn't want to get out of bed, it was warm, comfortable and safe. 

"Morning." Jac murmured half-asleep. Zosia smiled and pressed snooze to silence the alarm.

"Morning." She replied as her girlfriend rolled off her. 

"Sorry, that can't have been comfortable." Jac observed with a half-smile. 

"You're not that heavy." Zosia chuckled. "Besides I quite liked it, you were keeping me warm." 

"Well, if you're cold you should have probably put some clothes on last night." Jac smirked and pulled the junior into her arms.

"I must have been too exhausted..." Zosia retorted, she nuzzled her head underneath her girlfriend's chin and pressed a kiss against her throat. 

"Yeah, well, you weren't complaining at the time." The consultant grinned running her fingertips down her cheek.

"Oh certainly not." Zosia pushed herself up and kissed her girlfriend. Jac smiled into the kiss and in one swift motion she threw her on her back. Zosia pulled her on top of her and ran her hands down her sides, she returned her kiss passionately. "We should really get up." The junior chuckled halfway through a kiss. 

"We've got five minutes..." Jac smirked.

"Nope, get off." Zosia laughed as their alarm went off again for emphasis. She pushed her girlfriend off who fell backwards with comical effect you wouldn't expect from the imminent surgeon. The junior got up and out off bed while Jac watched her. She pulled on long pj trousers and a vest top. "Are you getting up?" 

"If I have to." The consultant sighed and got up. She pushed her hair back behind her ears as she lazily strolled towards the wardrobe. Zosia couldn't keep her eyes off her naked form which was very much the effect she was going for. 

"You're staring." Jac chuckled as she pulled on a dressing gown.

"I might be." The junior smiled, she forced herself to look away and walk out off the room. Jac took a moment before she followed her, she tied up the dressing gown and checked her appearance in the mirror. She caught herself smiling. She knew she should feel guilt for being as happy as she was, there were plenty of reasons why their relationship shouldn't work. Last night had illuminated every aspect of that but if anything it had made her more determined. 

When Jac joined Zosia the young doctor had made coffee.   
"Coffee." She smiled and handed her a mug.

"What's for breakfast?" 

"You know I don't cook." Zosia replied. "We might be best off grabbing something on the way to the hospital." She took a swing of her coffee and Jac chuckled.

"Alright then, are you having a shower?" 

"Yes." The junior nodded glancing at the clock on the wall. It was only quarter past seven but it was a work day for both of them with a tight schedule. "Alone." She added before her girlfriend could get any ideas. "Why don't you try and make some breakfast." She picked up the rarely used apron that had been hung up on the wall and chucked it at Jac with a grin before disappearing into the bathroom. Jac laughed to herself. 

 

Zosia emerged from the bathroom to find Jac with an extremely smug look on her face.   
"Enjoy breakfast." The consultant kissed her girlfriend's cheek as she passed her on the way into the bathroom. The junior laughed when she spotted a box of cereal on the table and a bowl.

"As I said, we'll grab something on the way to the hospital." She called and made her way back into the bedroom to get dressed. 

 

In previous relationships Jac had always struggled to settle into routines and share her spaces. She would have expected it would be even worse with a woman but strangely, she had grown accustomed to Zosia's presence. They were both dressed and ready to go when there was a knock on the door.   
"Timing." Jac commented as she made her way to the door. Zosia hung back, near the kitchen counter. The consultant opened the door to greet Jonny who was carrying their daughter.

“Morning.“ He greeted her rather joyfully.

“Morning you two.“ Jac replied with a smile and took Emma off him. She carried her daughter inside chatting away to her, asking how her time with her daddy had been. Jonny followed her inside and immediately spotted Zosia who was still leaning against the kitchen counter. Jac had told him they were seeing each other, conceding he had every right to know who was around his daughter but this was the first time he saw actual proof of it.

“Zosia.“ He greeted her trying not to sound too surprised. When Jac first told him, he laughed in her face, assuming she was having him on and she had just left it at that. 

“Hi Jonny.“ Zosia smiled, she wasn’t sure what to do, it was a strange situation but she figured his reaction could be worse. 

“Are you staying for a coffee? We have the time.“ Jac said surprising Jonny with her pleasant tone and unusual hospitality. 

“Uhm, sure, okay.“ He replied and watched Jac put Emma down in order to make coffee. The young girl wandered off to the sofa and climbed on top of it. Jonny watched her in bemusement and spotted the empty bottle of wine and glasses on the coffee table. “That kind of night, eh?“ He raised his eyebrows as he picked up the glasses and took them to the kitchen so there was no danger of Emma breaking them. Zosia blushed slightly as she took the glasses off him, she was still waiting to see what Jonny’s thoughts on their relationship were.

“We had dinner with Guy.“ Jac gave a simple answer.

“Ah.“ He nodded understanding immediately. “So how did that go?“

“We never managed to order.“ The consultant answered handing him a mug.

“That bad?“

“You have no idea.“ Zosia answered and he chuckled.

“I can imagine.“

“Have you got all of Emma’s stuff ready to go?“ Zosia asked with a glance at the clock. They would have to drop Emma off at the creche before work. 

“Oh no, not really.“ Jac realised.

“I’ll sort it.“ The junior said automatically but then looked unsure when she realised the situation. She glanced at Jonny briefly and then back at Jac who gave her an encouraging nod. 

“Emma might like to help.“ Jonny said surprising both women. Zosia’s expression brightened immediately and she nodded. She made her way to the sofa and picked up Emma.

“Shall we get your bag packed, Emma?“ She asked the girl with a smile and in response she clung on to her happily. Jac smiled absentmindedly at the sight as Zosia carried her to her room. 

“Is this a vision of the future then?“ Jonny chuckled snapping Jac out of her trance and she wasn’t sure how to take that.

“Maybe.“ She responded waiting to see what else he’d say. “That’s not a problem, is it?“

“Uhm… no, I guess not.“

“That doesn’t sound convincing.“ She frowned.

“Well, I guess I hadn’t really thought about it. I wasn’t sure you were actually serious about, you know, the whole thing.“ He nodded in the direction of Emma’s room. 

“Why do you think I told you we were seeing each other if I wasn’t serious and thought you should know.“ Jac asked crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I thought you were just, you know, having a bit of fun? I mean, you’re not actually gay, are you?“ He couldn’t stop himself.

“Well, seeing as I have dated plenty of men saying I’m gay would be wrong, wouldn’t it? I think bisexual would be the right term.“ She replied dryly. 

“So this is actually working for you?“ He asked sounding confused and surprised in equal measures. 

“Yes.“

“Right…“ Jonny glanced towards Emma’s bedroom again considering what this meant for the future. 

“She’s great with Emma.“ Jac said as if reading his mind.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that.“ He smiled, after all, she wasn’t a stranger.

“And you must be relieved no-one will challenge you as a father figure?“ The consultant chuckled and he laughed.

“Yeah, I guess so.“

“I know it’s early days still but I want you to understand that I want Zosia to become a big part of Emma’s life.“ Jac stated.

“I’m okay with that.“ He answered after brief deliberation. “If you’re sure about this.“

“I am.“

“Make sure you are because if Emma gets used to her being around and then something happens…“

“This is not some kind of fling Jonny, regardless of what you think.“ She retorted getting angry.

“And is that how Zosia sees it as well? Because an exciting fling with the hot consultant is one thing, committing to a family is another. I’m not saying that’s what it is, at all, but just make sure you’re on the same page.“ He held up his hands to show he meant to offence and Jac remained silent considering his words.


	5. Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at work, Jac had hoped to avoid Guy as much as possible but an early morning consultants meeting isn't making it easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter has taken me so long! Been distracted by one shots haha! Hope you enjoy this, let me know what you think :)

“Hold the lift!“ Zosia called and hurried to hold the door open waiting for Jac to catch up, she was slower for carrying Emma. “Thanks.“ Zosia smiled at Serena Campbell and Ric Griffin who responded in kind. Both managed to mask their surprise to see Jac follow suit. 

“Morning.“ She greeted the other consultants and then frowned, she could tell Serena wanted to say something. “Did I miss something.“

“The consultants meeting? We thought you’d be there by now, we’re late…“ Ric answered so Serena wouldn’t have to.

“Oh that.“ Jac realised that she had completely forgot about the meeting scheduled for this morning. She still had to drop Emma off.

“I’ll take her to creche.“ Zosia said almost immediately.

“Are you sure, I don’t want you to be late…“ Jac replied and the junior chuckled.

“Somehow I don’t think my consultant will mind.“ 

“Your registrar might.“ The consultant half-smiled. “If you’re sure…“

“Of course.“ She smiled taking Emma off her. Ric and Serena exchanged a look. It had been common knowledge for a while that the two women were seeing each other but this was the first time they had seen actual proof of it. Jac could tell the two consultants were watching them interact whether they realised it or not. “The bag?“ Zosia reminded her girlfriend while a small smile drawing her attention.

“Oh yes.“ She handed the bag over and the junior threw it over her shoulder.

“Have a good day, sweetheart.“ Jac smiled at her daughter as they reached the floor she knew Zosia would have to get off on. She kissed Emma’s head and refrained from kissing her girlfriend still conscious of their audience. 

“I’ll see you on the ward.“ Zosia smiled as the life doors opened and she got out. She understood Jac’s reluctance to show affection in front of her colleagues, it probably was better for both their reputations but she wished they didn’t have to be concerned about that. 

Inside the lift, the three clinical leads continued their journey in silence. Jac didn’t look at either of them, she had no interest in discussing her personal life with them and she was worried if she looked around she might have to. 

 

They made their way to the board room in silence. As Ric had indicated, they were late and found most consultants had already assembled including Sacha Levy, Bernie Wolfe, Henrik Hanssen of course and to Jac’s dismay, Guy Self. He looked at her trying to catch her eye as they entered but she blanked him completely. She walked past him to have a seat at the table, she chose the other end straight across from Hanssen from where she felt in control. The seat also had the benefit of being right next to Sacha who greeted her happily and she didn’t mind when Bernie pulled up the chair to her other side. 

The meeting itself was rather uneventful discussing profitability and throughput numbers of the different departments.  
“How come you were late?“ Sacha asked quietly and Jac chuckled a little feeling like a school girl whispering in class.

“Jonny brought Emma round and there was something I needed to talk to him about.“

“Emma okay?“

“Yeah she’s great. Zosia’s taking her to creche or I would have been even later…“

“That sounds promising.“ He grinned and she glanced over to him trying to hide her smile.

“I won’t pretend it’s not.“ She replied looking back at Hanssen to ensure they weren’t interrupting the meeting. She noticed Guy glancing at her and she turned back to Sacha.

“Some tension there?“ The GS consultant commented and Jac sighed.

“We tried to have a family dinner last night… we left early.“ 

“I see.“ He nodded, no need for any more explanation.

 

Jac was first to her feet when Hanssen closed the meeting. It wasn’t so much that she was running away from Guy, it was more a matter of really not wanting to hear what he had to say. 

“Ms Naylor, a word please before you rush off. I’m sure you have important things to do but this will only take a moment.“ Hanssen looked at her before she could make her escape. 

“We all know you have important things to do…“ Sacha chuckled only loud enough for Jac to hear, in response she dug her heel in his foot and he swore under his breath. 

“Sure.“ She forced a smile and waited while the other consultants left the room one by one. She was not surprised at all when only Guy remained.

“I’m sure you can find your way back to Darwin by yourself Guy? No need to wait up.“ She said as she made her way around the table to Hanssen. 

“Actually, it was Mr Self that requested a meeting with the both of us.“ The CEO explained and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Of course he has.“ 

“I’m glad you think this is funny.“ Guy commented clearly wound up. 

“Oh it is funny. Things aren’t going your way so why not waste the CEO’s time.“ She retorted crossing her arms in from of her chest. She came to a halt next to the neurosurgeon though keeping a safe distance as they both faced their boss. 

“I’ll be deciding if it is a waste of my time, thank you.“ Hanssen could tell things could get out of control fairly quickly if he didn’t keep both of the head-strong consultants on their toes. “So what is this about Mr Self?“ 

“Ms Naylor is taking advantage of my daughter.“ He answered promptly.

“Excuse me?!“ Jac exclaimed in anger. Even for Guy that statement was out of order. 

“That is a strong allegation Mr Self, are you sure you don’t wish to rephrase that?“ Hanssen frowned and the other consultant just shrugged in response.

“Well, I don’t see any other reason why Zosia would want to…“

“If you actually bothered to talk to your daughter and listen what she has to say about what she wants and how she feels, maybe you would have a better idea…“ Jac interrupted him. She knew Zosia’s relationship to her father was never going to be perfect but things had certainly taken a turn for the worse over the last four weeks.

“Don’t tell me what my daughter…“ He tried to protest.

“That’s quite enough of that, thank you!“ Hanssen interrupted them sternly. “The facts please, I haven’t got time for melodrama.“ 

“I’m seeing Doctor March.“ Jac said plainly with a shrug. It had never been a secret and knowing the CEO, he had probably been aware of it from the start. Not much happened at Holby that he didn’t know about.

“Yes I had heard that particular rumour.“ He replied folding his hands on the table.

“Well, it’s not a rumour, we’re in a relationship.“ She awaited his reaction which was as usual minimalistic. He nodded and then looked at Guy.

“And I take it you object this this?“

“Strongly.“ The neurosurgeon shot her a glance full of spite which she just ignored.

“I’m afraid I would be overreaching if I got involved.“ The CEO stated and Jac smiled in satisfaction. “That is not to say I approve.“ He added looking back at her.

“What about the conflict of interest?“ Guy interjected growing more and more frustrated. 

“We have been dating for about a month and our private lives have in no way impacted our professional performances. Unless of course you have made a different observation, Mr Hanssen?“ Jac challenged confidently, they had both been very careful.

“Your professionalism is not in question and neither is that of Doctor March, Mr Self does however have a point. There is a conflict of interest regarding the mentoring process…“ It was obvious he was trying his best to mediate between them which was never an easy task but now seemed almost impossible where Zosia was concerned. 

“I don’t want her involved in Zosia’s training if they insist to carry on this farce.“ Guy insisted.

“Farce? You think it’s appropriate for him to attack my personal life like that?“ Jac looked at Hanssen expectantly trying to remain calm, knowing that if she could remain professional Guy would show himself up all by himself.

“Ms Naylor is quite right, please refrain from such remarks. However, you will have to relinquish your role as Doctor March’s mentor.“ The CEO tried his best to remain objective.

“I’m well aware of the conflict of interest. Ms Effanga and Mr Valentine are more than capable of assessing Zosia’s progress. I have already transferred these responsibilities to them.“ Jac retorted, she had been prepared to have this conversation for some time. She was as concerned for Zosia’s career as her father was, if not more so, she wasn’t about to let their relationship jeopardise that. Hanssen nodded his understanding so she continued: “But the fact remains that I am the best cardiothoracic surgeon in Holby, I don’t want her training compromised, I am very capable of training her so long as I’m not involved in her assessments.“ She crossed her arms in front of her chest, she was determined she wouldn’t get sidelined. 

“I take your point Ms Naylor though we would have to put something in writing…“ The CEO agreed.

“That’s fine by me.“ She cut in eager for the conversation to end while she was ahead. 

“No, it’s not fine, you can’t have it both ways Jac.“ Guy protested in anger.

“Would you rather your daughter’s training be compromised?“ Jac challenged. 

“I’d rather you didn’t sleep with my daughter.“ He retorted in anger.

“Bit late for that now.“ She couldn’t stop herself from smirking.   
“If you’re quite finished!“ Hanssen interrupted them sharply. “Thank you for your concern, Mr Self, I’ll be picking this up again with Ms Naylor and then hopefully in presence of Doctor March? This is, after all, about her and not your mutual dislike for one another?“ This time, the Darwin consultants remained silent.


End file.
